let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
