Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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