if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
