No, you can still breathe under the balls.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
