Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
