the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
