they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
