He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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