also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
