Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
