Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love having hate sex.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
