I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
