I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
