Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
