I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hippo gnu deer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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