Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
