I am in a vortex of obligation.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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