I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
