I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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