The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
