I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
