you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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