btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Blood and glitter go together right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
