My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
