I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
