i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
