What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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