there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
