Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
