You smell like stripper and shame
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
handjob tips. give me some.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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