Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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