I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
