I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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