I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
