I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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