there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
