I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm gonna fight the coyote
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
