me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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