she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
