I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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