She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The uberlube is also flammable
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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