Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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