went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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