I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
