he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
