I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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