are you still at the devil's house?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
