He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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