So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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