Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
