i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
