Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
