Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
