I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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