Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
